Any great idea will have a number of setbacks, holdups, and bumps in the road on the journey from idea to fruition, but are YOU one of them? Often-times one of the biggest obstacles standing in the way of a client’s success is actually THEMSELVES. In our twenty-five years of successful business planning and strategising at PD Consultants, clients typically display behaviour that suggests whether or not they will change make the necessary changes in their lives in order to succeed.
But how do you know if you are standing in your own way? Your inner being, feelings, desires, all have to align with your overall goal, and the people in which this is true adjust and adapt far more easily than people who think that they want to make a change but allow inner doubt hold them back time and time again.
The biggest hurdle in the fight against self-sabotage is recognizing it for what it is, which can be a very difficult thing to own up to. So what are the signs of self-sabotage?
- You’re in love with your problems – People who never talk about anything other than their problems don’t want to let their problems go or fix them. Even if they make the decision to change, they will be held back by the part of themselves that enjoy the kickbacks of their problems, whether that’s drama, attention, sympathy, etc.
- You argue FOR your problems - Are you the type of person who has a reason why every solution just won’t work? Do you shoot down suggestions from others as a “solution for them, but not me?”
- You’re fixated on the problems rather than the solutions – The more energy you invest into looking back at your problems and the causes of them the less energy you will have to invest in actually moving past your problems and towards solutions.
How to stop sabotaging yourself
Once you’ve acknowledged that self-sabotage is the likely culprit holding you and your dreams back from success, we can start to turn that energy from being focused on the problems to being focused on the solutions.
- Love yourself for your strengths – Everyone has any number of things they aren’t any good at, and if all you do is focus on what you can’t do, you’ll never develop your strengths. No matter what your goal, it can be achieved through your strengths rather than held back by weaknesses.
- Try – Solutions offered to you by counsellors or others may not seem worthwhile in the haze of self-doubt, but you don’t know they won’t work until you try them, so try them.
- Focus on the goal – Remember: your dream is achievable on your strengths and, with a little creative thinking and energy, you can continue to move towards your goal regardless of your weaknesses.
If you’ve recognized that you may be a self-saboteur, fear not: make today the last day of self-sabotage. Move forward from this moment on without the learned victim behaviour and start realizing your true potential.